Mounting Pleasures

It is not fair
that I have to share my
dreams with empty resolve.

It is too much to dare to hope for
something real, to compare what is old
with something that is new.

How can I move on?
When I am brought back to the ground?
I see your face
I see your eyes
The light in them fascinates my soul
but the goal that I have in mind was to be with you.

And the undeniable mounting feelings of pleasures
that I have to give and treasure with only you
Do I dare come to reality?
And hear you say no?
That nothing can come of this
and we have to endure what is real.

A reality of exchanges
The words I do still in our ears, the commitment of our
partner's bonafide and solid.
For even if it was real we would still be in a mirror, looking at
a reflection that is shallow as a grave ande the moments day in
day out and cold as the night.

The sinful mounting pleasures guilty as it may be my lustful
shame of wanting, that is not even there

Belinda 2010

Gathering

Gathering of the spirits
Singled out one by one
Mingling with the living
Which are dancing back and forth

Lights shinning brightly and
The night so majestic
How I can lay under the stars
And dream all night.

Come and touch me
Waiting with open arms
I herald your name in
My heart and in my soul
Waiting for the gathering
To bring us all home.

Belinda 09

Anarchy

Constant torment

Live and up close

Watch and see how

I compose this poem

 

Hated dreams of nightmares

Bliss watch and see how I never

Let this miss.

Gather up you messes

And travel with me to the long

Cold graves look and watch

And see how it this unravels.

Past the love ones now dead

And gone.

 

Constant torment

Live and up close

Watch and see

How I transpose

Driving the knife

In your heart

Watching the blood

Flow and stain the ground

Looking into your eyes

Last bit of light

Darkness falls

And the hell begins.

 

Now constant torment

Hear my cry

Watch and see how my

Death drains dry.

 

Belinda 09

Love's Ribbon

 She looked upon him with admiration

Far from the transformation that she was

An angry young woman who had nothing but

Hate and vile thoughts.

 

Did not want to love

However, knew how to hate

Lately her heart has been closed

Being used and abused, she just did not

Have the will to break the chill.

 

Now he has come into her life

Beauty that only is in the eyes of the beholder

His eyes warm and cascading he soul open for the

World to see.

His voice structured and secure

he was sure of himself and strong in his beliefs

He looked into her eyes placed his hand on her face

Moving them slowly down to her lips and then bit them

Softly.

 

His love for her was evident

A long time without passion

For both had none to give

Now found each other

In the grip of life's torment

Blossoms a ribbon of hope.

 

 

Belinda 09

Last Seen

When was the last time you seen me
Time passed the winds of change has engulfed us both
No one could have guessed that I would disappear
No one could have guessed that I would be missed
Do you miss me
For I miss you
It has been long
But it was worth it
Not to hear from you
Not to be concerned with the rigors of the stressful
Situations that you have placed me in.
Now are you glad that I am here?
Reminding you of how it was
How it could have been
What it once was
Now faded off into the sunset
A memory of the past


Been a long time
my face was a memory then
and still a memory now


Psalmist 09

Pooled Water

Pooled Water
Still and calm
Like a glass mirror
With a reflection of both the
Past and the present.

Looking down I see my smile
For now, I am free Calm and majestic
Like the wind on a cool
Summer’s day.

Ripples appear
Disturbing the tranquilness
Angry now I have become.
Torrents of emotions
Wading and splashing
Washing over the happiness
And replacing it with pain.

Hurts to walk
Not able to run
Crying, tears falling
The pain now all so deafening
And now defining my life
Of endless wondering.

What now?
How can I make it right?
Swollen
Distorted
Not even looking the same
Stiffen so much lost all it’s shape.
Trying not to let it bother me
Day in and day out.

What is there left for me?
But to keep going
Keep walking
Keep running
Keep hoping

Belinda ‘09

Perverbial Fool

Gave you all my time to share the fruits of passions wine
Sacrificed every bit of my soul showed you loves endless
Pleasures, yet the light was not allowed to shine

You stood in my way blocked every advance
Selfishly you held on like a ball and chain
Didn’t want me
Did not want anyone to else to have me
Cannot believe that this was how you cared

The constant hurts
Go on for days into hours at every second
Never fearing the end
Just kept on without a care in the world

Now the time has come
No pain
No endless wondering
The light that once shinned has went out
No more talking for now just too tired to make
The effort

All this time you paid me any mind, now there is constant
Reasoning and pleadings
Give me a reason why I should listen
For season after season done the same thing.
Forget it
It is done
For only a proverbial fool would through a gift
In the trash.


Belinda ‘09

Death's Window

Terror grips the heart

the soul torn into darkness

blood pouring in the streets

peace gone and death takes

its place.

Crying, Shouts of terror

Wondering why

must all the life of living be

such a tragedy

Hatred mounting in the minds

of the damned carrying out

a mindless test to prove they have the power.

A deathly silence over a city in peril

Souls and minds tortured

when will all end

why must the innocent die

for a cause not of there own.

Belinda 08

*This was a poem that I wrote off the top of my head when I listen to the news this evening and found out that Mumbai was the scene of death and dispair...British and American citizens, Indian citizens being killed for nothing...Time for the innocent to fight back....Don't let this be the rule of your lives...

Broken Butterfly

I watch out the window

Looking at the day

The sun shining brightly

And the wind blowing lightly

Thoughts race through my mind

Vivid images of past, present and

Most of the time the future the

Imaginaries of conflicts trials

Of tribulations, daunt my every turn

Hatred

Words twisted out of the tongue so violently

A scar to remind you the words do indeed hurt

The soul. Feelings of sorrow stained with guilt

Tears fall endlessly into rivers of pain and suffering

Damaged beyond recognition

Believe me my heart is totally done with all

The people around me.

What can be said from a torn piece of paper?

What can be written that will mend the broken heart?

What can be healed when damage has been done?

Like the wind it blows Moreover, all the sorrows of

yesterday are gone with it.

Belinda 08

When Doves Cry

The screams of strife and disheartened
I can here her crying in the night
I can hear her grimes of strife
Elusive but intrusive to my peace
of mind.

Disheartened by the losses
Heart aching from all the torture that has
befallen upon her, suffering insurmountable
the tears kiss her with unknown destiny

She had a benign heart
diseased with the expectations of might
Alas she tried her unknown destiny
and ceased her life waiting at the windowsill

Who has tore her apart so savagely?
Her pain is unimaginable
Cruelty to a heart so open
Heartless is the one who did this to her.

However, alas time passes
The tears have subsided
A new day comes and healing
Is reborn
Smiles come again
Laughter flows all around

Healing helps those who are in pain
A life of strife never to be revisited in
this soul again.

Belinda ‘08

No Change Needed

It was quite for a long time
Peaceful tranquil, not even a
Stir of the winds was felt.

Everyone got along
Everyone smiled and laughed
At the silliness and joking mannerisms

Now the wind has changed
The fire is burning
The old brush now burn a crimson red
The barbarisms of harsh words
Volatile exchanges should not have
Never been said

Finger pointing, name calling
Visions of real life surface in
This once tranquil place we all
Tried to run, but believe me
We could not ever hide
It is always one bad apple

Now the storm moved on
Left in its wake a torn mess
Cannot correct the damage
How can anyone manage it all?
Of this why did it have to be
Like this?

Change was never needed
For it was never necessary
Change comes when people
Are willing not because of
A disruption or anticipation
Of collaborated misunderstandings

Did I need to be told that I was too much?
A chain
A link that needed to be broken
To me there was no need for change
For the few souls that caused the damaged
Managed to change all that for us.

Psalmist 08

Healed

My soul is in darkness
Hear my cries
Listen to the shouts of my screams
Echoing through the dark.

Help me
Help me for I am dying
Can you hear me crying?
Everyone that was with me
Is gone and nowhere to be found
The sounds of joy and laughter
Has faded in the surrounds of eternal
Silence.

Can feel the whip of anger and hatred
Slashing across my back and the open
Wounds gushing out the crimson rivers
Of suffering and anguish my despair
Tormenting me where is the hope that I
So desperately, crave?

Suddenly a light beamed through the dark
The cries of pain have subsided
The tears of emotional despair has dissipated
The joys of my life has returned and no more
Suffering will, I fear and feel for the tears
Will never swell up in my eyes.

I welcome the light into my soul
Light up my heart and repair the damage
That took its toll. Come and touch me
Embrace me with your love lift my spirit
Let me know that you care and hold on to
Me forevermore.

Now the darkness is no more
The score has now been settled
No longer will I fear of being old and alone
For my soul has been healed by the touch of
Heavenly light the sight that is sheer music
To my heart and soul.

Psalmist ‘08

Gathering my thoughts (pt 1)

Waking up this morning had lots of things that has crossed my mind, this has turned out to be a morning ritual for me I sit on the side of my bed and rub my eyes then I take my medications with some water then I close my eyes and just let my mind just wonder on all the things of the night before and things to do for the day ahead.
What I did think about was my life in general, I read in a fortune cookie one night that my happiness is intwinded with my outlook on life...Well that left me something to think about since there was a faint reminder of a discussion I had with my sons on this same topic. I work all the time, raising two sons and married to a great guy but sometimes I have to question my true happiness in all of this...am I being too selfish or over self centered I wonder?
I should be happy since my needs are being taking care of daily by my Lord Jesus Christ, but I do at times want more and want to do more but it seems as if that it will never come my way.
Dreaming all the time of being a traveler or writing my poems and becoming a very rich poet is a dream that I have imagined all the time now, since this is something that I want to do I hope with patience that it will come.
Most women my age don't have all that I have and that is real!! And when they hear of me having what I do have well they become very recentful and jealous of me because of it. I deal with it because I know this is what is expected of me as a older woman which has matured with this for some time. But still....I want more I know that I shouldn't ask for it but I do need to have more. So am I wrong?
My life is entwined on my happiness in my life now and I do hope that one day soon I get what I do want at this time all I can do is rely on my faith in God to pull it through.

Saurav's Motivation for a psalmist

close your eyes
feel the air
the inhale-exhale,
feel the blood
rushing through the veins

Get in touch
with the seven chakras,
release the energy
let it flow hear the music
the soul plays with it, and
dance to rhythm

take a dive
let your imagination flow
swim effortlessly in it, feel the peace
the integration ofthe above feeling,
gives the power
you have never felt before.

Inside the dark

What is wrong with me?
Is there something that should be done?
For the reason my many pains keep on
Haunting me. Laying awake at night my
Mind wonders on down a tunnel to oblivion
The obscure and abstract all role up into one.

Light merges into dark
The feelings that is inside me blank and unsure
My blood no longer pure, tainted by what is good
From that which is evil. The games that are being
Played in my mind have left me feeling lost. Confused
Is what is all left wondering if my inner peace will be
Enough for me to go from one day to the next.

Dazed from days of mundane thoughts pleading with
Myself to get a grip on my sanity, the endless fights for
Dominance to win back my soul from the darkness, to
Begin where I left off with a real sense of peace and
Happiness, to dance and sing with a real believe that
Yes, my life is worth living.

But at the end
What is wrong with me?
Why are the questions that plague me still unrentlessly?
Haunting me?
Will I be the same as before?
On the other hand, has the long darkness of the obscure
Mind locked me in this place.

Belinda ‘08

Endless

Cascading thoughts
Fills the room
Mindless emotions
Leaving me motionless
In your wake.

Winds blowing
Softness of your touch
Kiss of your lips
Like a mist of water to quench
My parched soul.

My endless heart begs for you
My endless soul calls for you.

BDW ‘08

A Letter - A Story

On the table was a letter
It was written on fine stationary
The words were clear and understandable
The words I love you stood out so very boldly.

Surely, this letter lying on this table told me
That his feelings were sincere and true, but
He wrote it because he did not have the heart
To look me in the eye and tell me he was going
Away for a short time.

My heart would have skipped a beat and the tears
Would have fell like they are now, it would have
Been harder for him to leave me once he seen them
Fall. Finally I removed the letter from the table and
Looked at it closely, he wrote it with such finesse and
Care. Not leaving out anything making sure he explained
His case thoroughly how I love how he is so sure about
What he does, but just to think that he is gone sends me in
Turmoil of emotional tirade.

So I try to remember he is coming back
Not sure, on how long he will be gone from me
But my heart is yearning for him and my soul is
Begging to have his arms around me, how can I endure this?
Silence and the empty space? And how do I move on with
Out his loving face to look at every night when I sleep?

It is driving me mad
How can I?
What shall I do?
My heart is tearing apart
I miss you my love, please hurry back for my soul
Is dying without you and the darkness surrounds me
Like a heavy blanket.
I am being smothered
Not being able to breathe
Come back my love for I am dying without you.
Damn, I wish I that I hadn’t read that letter for now
I am truly dying.

Grateful

Playful moments
Pleasurable just to be in peace
The love that I have for you my Father
Is beyond anything imaginable.

Here I have the love
Of family and friends
And there love is so priceless and
Precious to me.

Loving the days as they go by
Praying with thanks to see them each
Day, lying in my bed thanking you once
Again for the peace of this nights peaceful
Slumber.

I thank you for all the things you have done
And the victories that we have won. As
I write to you on precious Father my love
For you flows from my heart.

And I have to say it is nothing but your grace
And mercy that have allowed me to stay.
For me it is nothing but gratefulness for the
Reason I love you so.

Flowing from my heart
My love for you is your victory
For creating me a priceless treasure
A life that belongs to you.

Grateful oh Father for you making me
Grateful for knowing all about you and
Praising you until the sun goes down.
Grateful for the victories that you have won
Never did you forsake me or abandoned me.
I am so grateful
Just to love you.

BDW ‘08

Uneasy

Uneasy feelings of the unknown
A place that I dare not look
It haunts me and daunts my waking
Moments, frightens me till fear shows
Its eyes to me.

Tormented moments of frustrations
And desperation, liquidating to a pool
Of nothingness and pain. I see his face
Dark and emotionless he laughs at my
Fears and tastes my moments of uneasiness
And the queasy feelings sickens me and leaves
Me motionless and dead in its wake.

Shadows of the past dances before me
Anguish of painful memories killing me softly
Tears flow down my pale face finally death comes
On swift wings.

May she rest in peace.

BDW ‘08

What can I do

What do I need more than anything you could give?
What could I do just to take one moment of time just
To make love to you until you would not want to leave.
Do my eyes intrigue you?
Do my lips mesmerize you?
How much do you want me oh dearest love?
When will you take the time just to lay in my silken
Haven and drink the passions of blissful surrender.

Did you forget how it felt?
Just to be in my arms at night, to see my eyes
Twinkle and shimmer in the moonlit moment, to embellish
The time and waking moments in the night when you
Wanted to make love to me and have nothing more.

What can I do to make you want me even more?
What could I do just to make you mine?
What should I do just to make love to you?

What can I do just to be with you.

BDW ‘08